It’s been such a great day and although I’m happy and happier each day, when I take a moment to think about it I feel empty and like I’m waiting more than I ever was before.
seriously jealousy is the worst emotion
you’re not only really sad but you’re really annoyed and helpless at the same time
and you feel pathetic like you’re ruining people’s fun but don’t want to be left out so you just sit around quietly annoyed
I had a strange dream last night. Three actually because i woke up twice. They were all kind of set in a weird high school/uni environment. In one, I was trying to find my room in halls but everyone had started this party - everyone from my school though - and i was annoyed because nobody could tell me where my room was. Then in another there was a really good looking guy who was a chemist but was also a councillour but was also a tiger shapeshifter. So I told him all about my problems and stroked his back (in tiger form) and then we talked with him in human form and I think he asked me out just before I woke up. It was just really good right then for my subconscious or God or something reminding me that someone will like me one day again.
I’m really quite self obsessed
Good job Joelle. Good job on asking stupid awkward questions in stupid awkward ways and awkwardly covering the fact afterwards that you like him. He probably figured it out. He probably thinks it’s weird. Probably doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. Do I feel relieved in anyway? Nope, I feel mildly disappointed and acutely embarrassed. And also it’s half 4 in the morning.
You need a word for this feeling. Someone should invent it.